After I became a salesman my ability to talk to people improved tremendously. Small talk was no longer an obstacle, and I could always find something to talk about that interested the other party. Most people would give obvious signs.
If they have an mp3 player they obviously listen to music. Ask them how they feel about lil weezy. They either love or hate that guy. Just play to the crowd.
Sometimes they wear a shirt with a band name or something on it. I bumped into this dude the other day that was wearing a spider-man shirt and I asked him where he bought his comics. We talked for like five minutes. We could have gone on longer, but he was kind of socially retarded but that is okay.
But this one time I sat outside of target I got jumped by kindness. It was such a hot day and I didn't feel like talking to anybody. I was sitting outside of the store just waiting for my ride when this big dude sits next to me.
"Man it's hot out here."
I was like haha yeah. He said, "I'd take off my shirt but people would go blind."
This guy was kind of chunky but so am I so I laughed. I was wearing my best buy uniform at the time so of course I get the usual question.
"How long have you worked at best buy?"
Dude just kicked through my fence. That's how you initiate a conversation. It's not like I could douche out of that one. "Oh you know a year or so," blah blah turn away to stare at the concrete. Happens every time. Inevitably, the work discussion started.
Long story short, we talked about our jobs and I found out in a really dickheaded way that I got paid more than him while doing much less work. When he asked me how much I got paid, I couldn't even give him an answer because I honestly didn't remember. 8 or 9 dollars? Something like that?
I didn't realize how douchey my response was because I didn't know that Tim was making less than seven dollars doing the most tedious sounding job known to man. And he mentioned it so sincerely. I just asked, "Do they pay you enough?"
So I always tell my friends and co-workers that I get paid too much. They all laugh, but I never know if I'm joking or not. But Tim (that's his name by the way) has to organize mountains of documents and then scan them one by one into a database for eight hours a day. I get anxious when I have to scan a single piece of art. This dude is literally doing something that will be performed by super robots in the near future. And he gets paid as such. Fuck, Tim, I didn't realize things were so bad.
He actually works for the unemployment office. Like, he started by getting jobs from them but eventually moved up the ladder and is an actual employee of theirs. That gives me hope that a hardworking dude like him can get somewhere. And it fills me with rage that a lazy low-life like me gets paid more than a guy like him.
Since then I started to avoid talking about money when the work discussion came up. And it came up a lot. People love to use it as an opening line. I don't even have to be wearing the uniform. I always get the, "Hey don't you work at best buy? I promise I'm not a stalker."
To say I'm a distinctive looking dude would be an understatement, but I look bizarrely different in my uniform. At least to me. So when people spot me outside of work and know who I am, I feel like they've discovered my secret identity. Sometimes it makes sense, like the girl from target. She talks to me whenever she sees me but that's because I go to target all the fucking time. But sometimes it's terrifying, like when I'm just sitting at school reading. But I guess that's the price you pay for working where everybody shops.
Man what was I even talking about.
